‘They have a whole language:’ Decoding the hidden meanings behind emojis, acronyms kids use

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (KCTV) - Tears of joy. Hearts. A thumbs up. They are some of the most common emojis people use every day to communicate, but the way kids use them could hold a double meaning.

Jill Story has a daughter in high school, middle school and elementary school. She said each child has their own personality, but they all text and talk in a whole different language.

“I’m constantly having to figure out,” she said. “I think anything [kids] can do to separate themselves from adults, that’s what they’re doing.”

Story said her children were given phones once she needed them to have one. She’s not so concerned about how her daughters use emojis. Instead, it’s their use of acronyms that she has a hard time deciphering.

“The big one right now is ‘sybau’ which is basically ‘shut your b**** a*** mouth’…that is a huge one,” she explained. “‘Stop being a ‘sybau.’”

It’s potentially jarring language to a parent, but for kids, it’s almost become the norm.

In March, a periodic table from Amit Kalley, founder of For Working Families, went viral. The former vice principal detailed what he described as “sinister emojis.”

The would-be harmless symbols could represent something completely different from what parents might think, ranging from drugs to sex to extremism.

“The table isn’t saying that whenever you see a particular emoji on your child’s phone, it means they’re involved in drugs, sexualized behavior or white supremacy,” said Kalley. “Context is always needed and if parents see emojis where they don’t match the context of the writing or where they can’t understand why it’s being used, they need to have honest and open, non-judgmental conversations with their children.”

KCTV5 sat down with Story and two of her friends, Kathy Linde and Chandra Jones, who are also moms, to see if they could figure out the coded meaning behind some emojis and acronyms. They included:

• Code 9/CD9: “Parents around”
• LMIRL: “Let’s meet in real life”
• GNOC: “Get naked on camera”
• PIR/POS: “Parent in room/parent over shoulder”
• Noodles emoji/eyes emoji: “Nudes”
• Scissors emoji: “Cutting”
• Snowflake emoji: “Cocaine”
• Phone & money emojis: “Dealer”
• Mouse emoji: “Snitch”

It was some very serious language – and subject matter – yet, aside from a few good guesses, none of the moms knew the secret meanings.

“I knew nothing, and I felt very like, when you said what they meant, particularly the ones indicating a parent was around, I felt shocked a little bit, saddened and hoping my 11-year-old hasn’t done that,” said Linde.

“They’re such ordinary emojis that your kids are going to be using, and your initial thought isn’t I bet they’re using those in some kind of code,” Jones added.

All three moms said they do have safeguards in place to monitor their kids’ communication. Those safeguards include managing and limiting their social media use, accessing their passwords and shutting off their devices altogether.

“I want to know you can navigate this thing in your hand and use it in a healthy way,” Story said of how she’s explained her reasoning for safeguards to her children.

Tracy Foster is co-founder and CEO of Screen Sanity, an organization that helps parents navigate raising children in the digital world. She’s also a mom.

“One of the acronyms I feel strongly about is “kys,” she said. “It’s the new ‘f-u.’ It stands for ‘kill yourself.’”

Foster said parents today have it hard because no one trained them on how to raise their kids with technology. She said one of the easiest things for parents to talk to their kids from a place of curiosity.

“So often if you just start to show curiosity and appreciation for their knowledge, they’ll start to open up,” she added. “Know who they’re following on the apps and follow them too. You’ll see in the comments, like what are all these types of emojis – and you have something interesting to start conversation.”

Foster said it’s on parents to help kids understand the weight of their words, whether explicit or coded. You don’t want them to become desensitized.

“Words go from digital to in person,” said Foster.

It’s just one of the many themes highlighted in the Netflix limited series ‘Adolescence.’ The four-part crime drama follows a 13-year-old boy accused of killing a classmate. It also touches on the use of coded language and the dangers of social media.

“I’m not saying parents talking with their kids about emojis can necessarily save kids from huge mental health challenges but it’s just one of these reminders,” said Foster.

They’re reminders not lost on the group of moms KCTV5 interviewed. All of them watched the series, which sparked conversations with their kids.

“You think, ‘My kid’s at home, they’re safe,’ and it’s like no, there’s this whole world in their hands that is not safe,” Jones said.

“The whole show is like we are begging for connection,” Story added.

Connections the group agreed start at home.

“Every generation has a coded language, but, as a mom, I would like to be up on those things,” said Story.

As their children grow up and move out, Story, Linde and Jones each said they’re hopeful their monitoring of online activity has helped their kids build healthy habits with technology.

“I hope there are things in place that they can start to recognize, ‘I don’t need to have this as I’m trying to do other things,’” Story said. “I want to equip you so that when you are not around me you can still behave in a way that is healthy and you can put your own limits on your own phone.”

“I think it’s also about teaching how to get joy, pleasure and a dopamine response that doesn’t have to do with electronics,” Linde said. “It’s not always about what you’re moving away from but what you’re moving toward.”

There are services available, like Bark provide parental controls and real-time monitoring on kids’ phones. They flag certain emojis, acronyms, and slang and alerts.

In January, the Australian Federal Police released this list of potential dangerous emojis and acronyms. For a comprehensive list of teen slang, emojis and hashtags ‘parents need to know,’ click here.

For more KCTV5 Special Reports, click here.

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